Here I am. This is me.

These days, I am inclined to believe that there are a separate set of people who live online. No, I’m not talking about the Dungeons and Dragons playing addict, the consummate hacker or the social networking hobnob.

I’m talking about the online people who are featured in online articles. They eat low-carb meals, have 'seven' servings of fruit and vegetable everyday, workout for the prescribed 30 minutes and still have time to cook organic food for their children. They practice attachment parenting under a giant poster of Dr Sears while simultaneously doing Power Yoga. And, they are never too tired to make mad passionate love at night, that kind that reduces stress and boosts their immunity. All this while having the time to go acai-berry picking every weekend as a family.

I used to be and still probably am a huge fan of online and print lifestyle articles but am increasingly skeptical of how much can actually be incorporated everyday, especially all at once.

How do you go about life trying to remember top ten tips to get along with your boss, be the perfect parent, know the latest workout trends and drink cups of 'exotic' Chinese tea which is somewhat of an oxymoron?

On the topic of online people, what about them online mom and online dad ? They read parenting philosophies together, have healthy debates while active listening on what parenting skills work, have  practiced bed-time routines where by 9.00 p.m, the whole family is having a long night of restful sleep after feasting on a healthy dinner of fibre and protein in perfect proportions.

Online mom was especially pleased when her head touched her organic cotton pillow at night. Her children had loved this wonderful smoothie. Little J loved the combination of organic spinach and the texture of tofu in her strawberry inspired drink! Bah! In addition, it had been so much fun doing Yoga with Little J on the sling! Apparently, online babies do not poo or pee on their parents even whilst wearing BumGenius as opposed to good old diapers.

Ah. Online parents and their nibble trays.Apparently, toddlers have to eat through the day and will pick and nibble on attractively kept food in neat little compartments.

When I placed some attractive watermelon in front of her, Little Ri, tumbled the whole bowl on herself and squished up all the fruit pieces with her sticky fingers. She splattered the juice around with her hand, pat pat pat and sucked on the fruit piece only when I offered them to her. She then proceeded to spit out the leftover fibre with much delight.

So here I am, this is me. My daughter's bum is 'pamper-ed' and I think diapers are genius. I buy Bourdeaux's Butt Paste just cause I the name cracks me up.

If my daughter could comprehend what a nibble tray is, she would mock it. Most of the time. ‘I’ end up falling asleep during practiced bedtime and find her patting my head saying ‘Paapa Paapa’. I jerk up in a frenzy to see her bright-eyed and bored. She has learnt to spit out food that she does not like and is not impressed with being hydrated. Water is only the newest toy in the block that she loves to splatter around  in her mouth.

I think I'm teaching her all the right things. I'm polite and respectful toward her. Everytime I hear her sweet voice calling out' Amma', I always respond by saying ' Yes I am here. How can I help you'? That's why I wonder where she's learnt to wag her finger and scold when something does not work out the way she wants. She even has a tiny disapproving grunt.

Fiercely independent, she would rather risk having soap water hit her tongue, than allow me to blow her bubbles from the bubble dispenser. Well, she insists on doing it herself! And, yes, she’s semi-potty trained, though I am a bit sneaky and allow her to watch Teletubbies while she does the big job. Ok fine, I use Teletubbies liberally to achieve some other parenting tasks as well. If dog was man's best friend, I think television would be a mother's.

Spinach and tofu in a smoothie? Sigh. I’m no organic mom. I don’t give my daughter sugar and her everyday meals are well planned and nutritious albeit a bit boring. However, I don’t make organic fruit puree with my food mill. Instead, I zealously stock up on a variety of Gerber fruit purees. God bless Gerber. Why did I even think/assume when Ri was 6 months old that I could pull off making fruit purees the way they could? She eats processed cheese and processed bread and a little bit of processed butter. I think I’m more of a processed mom.

Always, a work in process………

Blog Title : Here I am - Bryan Adams

When every moment spent with you is a moment I treasure

March 2'nd 2011 My Dearest Ri, You’ve changed over-night. Last night, I finally noticed you were no longer an infant. You chose play-time over cuddling with me. You get restless when I keep hugging you. You don’t cry when your diaper has been long on and is making you uncomfortable. Even nappy-change time is loss of precious play-time for you and you’d rather deal with a heavy diaper than lie still for a minute and have me apply your diaper cream and change you. You no longer allow cute little pony-tails or any kind of hair-accessory (not that you were ever a fan of those), choosing instead to play around with hair flopping all over your place. I cannot apply my OCD's while I dress you anymore. When you were an infant, you had single-minded purpose, to feed and stay constantly at my chest. Today, that is your option only when you are sleepy and have no energy or patience for anything else. You have an independent personality now, feisty, competitive and utterly charming. Your smile increases in its million-dollar value everyday and when people compliment me on your smile, I know they genuinely mean it. You’ve changed over-night. Last night, you spent more than thirty minutes playing alone in your crib while you were alone in the room with me. You have learnt to operate your Precious Planet Motion Soother by yourself now and as the gentle music played, I remembered hoping that same music would soothe you to sleep when you were a little ball of infant in your crib. What did I know then Rihana? I thought Motion Soothers actually worked and you would sleep like the Fisher-Price baby on its cover? And, how about that mobile trick you tried to pull yesterday? Sitting down and lunging upward hoping to entrap Pooh and his friends? As wonderful a time I had watching you try to achieve something you had your heart set on, I could not watch you try unsuccessfully for too long, and I chose to make life easier for you by pulling down the mobile and handing you Pooh and his friends. You were not impressed with my effort to help. You tossed the hanging figurines aside, you had more fun jumping and lunging toward it than actually holding it in your hand. Even the simple act of watching you play with a mobile had an important life lesson for me. My heart swells with pride as I watch you try hard to achieve something, I would do anything to make life easier for you but promise to sit back and let you decide what brings you happiness, the chase or the trophy…. For you are and always will remain, in my everyday chases, my trophy. Love, Your Mom Blog Title : I don't want to miss a thing - Aerosmith

Sweet Child of Mine

When you’re a parent (even a newbie one like me), it’s easy to desperately want to protect your child from everything bad. In particularly emotional moments, you find yourself wondering if there are ways to strike bargains with God, transfer some of your child’s future hurt onto yourself, increase your share of disappointments in the hope that theirs will decrease.

And then in more rational moments, you realize that life does not work that way. Instead you pray that the blows are soft, that they learn from them the right lessons and life as such is filled with love, laughter and hope.

Blog Title: Sweet child of mine - Guns n Roses

A hundred days have made me older.......

Time flies when you’re having fun. And, when you are with your baby. Ri is a 100 days old today. A 100 days of non-stop nursing, little sleep, aching bones. And, aching heart. Like i desperately try to describe to her father, even though I know she is well and truly mine, there is always an achy-breaky hearty feeling while looking at her.

P.S : Found this in my drafts….written on her 100’th day and not posted :) Hence…..

P.P.S : Blog Title - Here without you - 3 Doors Down