Thursday, December 8, 2011

I need your grace, to remind me

Dear Ri,

I am listening to Snow Patrol’s Chasing Cars from Grey’s Anatomy. I love the song, the haunting melody, the passionate singer and the eclectic lyrics.

There was a time in my life that I would associate every beautiful song and memory with a boy. Well, you’ll probably read this at an age when you will understand! Someday you will meet them boys (much to your father’s angst) and I hope you experience and enjoy all the wonderful feelings and emotions of falling in love. And, associating every song with the same!

Today, I hear this haunting song and I think of you. God, help me, I’m all mommy now!

When I think of a team, it’s you and me. A pair, that’s you and me again. A beautiful song reminds me of you. Anything beautiful in life, it all points at you.

You lay in the crook of my arm last night and held my nose tight. That made my voice all funny and when you heard the ‘funny voice’, you laughed. I could have been the the funniest stand-up comedian in the world.

You laughed so loud that tears came down your eyes, happy tears and seeing you laugh like that, well, it made my day, my year and pretty much all my years. Moments like these, I feel like I will end up choking from my love for you. And, we spent a lot of time like that last night, laughing together like silly girls.

Yes there are moments (make that many many moments) when I not only lose my patience with you but also faith in me as a mother. I feel easily irritable, overwhelmed, annoyed and slowly realize in your toddler years that the ‘itching to whack’ feeling comes just as easily as all the other loving maternal ones.

And yet, everything seems worth it when you laugh like that.

Keep loving and laughing,

Love,

Mom

Blog Title: Snow Patrol – Chasing Cars

No comments:

Post a Comment