All that I am. All that I ever was. Is there in your perfect eyes. They’re all I can see.

Dear Ri,

I turn 30 in 2 weeks and I used to have a whole list of things that I wanted to accomplish before that. Well, even you know me by now so we’re going to have to move some of those things (ok all off it) to what I want to do in my 30’th year:

So here goes 30 things that I want to do in my 30’th year:

1. Lose weight. Though I would love to say the politically correct line of ‘All I really want to do is get fitter’, I think I’m lying to myself. I don’t want to get fitter. I want to look better. Ha. There I said it!
2. Get into a Cleanse, Tone and Moisturize routine everyday. Yes! Inner beauty is more important and all that jazz but so is healthy, good skin.
3. Design, decorate and move in successfully into our new home. Have my OCD”s permeate gloriously into every bit of carpentry. I’m most excited about having individual draws for important folders.
4. Be a Domestic Goddess in that new home, the kind who has fresh flowers in her dining table, a cutesy to-do list on the fridge magnet and comes up with fun family dine-ins like Wok Wednesdays and Spaghetti Saturdays.
5. Buy my own small car and actually drive it!
6. Make your new room in the apartment bright and lovely and sparkly and fill it with all the wonderful things that you deserve.
7. Have you join a good playschool where you are happy and healthy!
8. Buy cookie-cutters and send you star and heart shaped sandwiches to school.
9. Begin to write a book.
10. Take-over your grandmother’s magazine and take it to a whole new level.
11. Update this blog with more sincerity
12. Begin to fill your baby book, the one where I’m supposed to stick your hospital bracelet and first lock of hair. I’m such a bad memory mom.
13. Go on a vacation alone with your father. I know it’s rather selfish to write this in a note to you but you know we’ll make it up to you somehow.  I really want my bum imprinted on a swimming pool lounge-chair somewhere and read a magazine on the flight!
14. Work for Google. I know it’s going to be hard with running a magazine, making star-shaped sandwiches and organizing Spaghetti Saturdays but one can try right?
15. Make my monthly column in a local community paper more frequent.
16. Start practicing yoga everyday. I truly love Yoga but wish I was more sincere about it.
17. Start writing down daily, monthly and yearly accounts.
18. Learn a foreign language. Not that I have a arty flair but I last heard that Mandarin is the way to go.
19. Practice Yoga with sincerity and dedication.
20. Attend a Brian Weiss therapeutic regression session. Your father has promised that this will be my 30’th birthday gift! A pass to one of his experiential workshops.
21. Walk on the treadmill everyday. I used to enjoy this but allowed my inner sloth to get the better of me. 
22. Be calmer, less distracted, a little less restless…..I find my inner conscience ROFL’ing at me as I type this.
23. Do something about my arms. God I hate them! As in, I love that I am an otherwise healthy person who has hands that work but I hate how they can bring my self-confidence to an all-time low.
24. Write for Readers Digest.
25. Read the Sat Charitra regularly. Re-attend my spiritual classes on Saturday.
26. Set aside more structured prayer and thanksgiving time for and with you. As this family’s mom-type-person, I feel I should be better about praying for you and daddy.
27. Be more careful and sensible while shopping for groceries.
28. Buy a new laptop. Keep the desktop clutter free.
29. Organize online and real photos better. Maintain neat albums of important occasions in your life.  
30. Strive everyday to be the mother that you deserve.

I turn 30 in 2 weeks and I used to have a whole list of things that I wanted to accomplish before that. Well, even you know me by now so we’re going to have to move some of those things (ok all off it) to what I want to do in my 30’th year. I look back at my life and remember high school and college and graduate school, I remember first love and heartbreak and projects and internships and graduations, my wedding, meeting your father, working, travelling and everything in between.

Yet, nothing in my 30 years feels as right as you do.

Blog Title: Snow Patrol – Chasing Cars